It is that time of year again.
You know, when the Dark Side seems to suck the life blood out of you with the simple common cold, and all that you can do is lounge around in pjs, drinking chamomile tea. Your face feels like its been walked on by 1000 Saint Bernards and your significant other, in my case the Professor or my dog, asks “Were you in a fist fight? Poor, thing, did you lose?”
(No, I am sick. And yes, my nose is bleeding.)
That’s when I think Product. Potions of lotions, cremes, polishes and perfumes are my favorite ingredients when I must face my public, after being slammed with the 24 hour bug. Everyone has a different favourite medicine. My elixir of choice and eternal vice comes in a tube. Lipstick: color (red, pink or nude), texture (matte or glossy), long lasting or traceless (i.e. no kiss marks on espresso cups, wine glasses, collars or pillows), I know that with a few strokes cross the lips, I will return to the living.
Even though I was raised with unconditional love for Target, Monoprix (Paulina can never get me out of there) and Boots– in a nutshell: incredibly large selection– I find that I swing both ways in regard to shopping for lipstick and make-up in Rome.
The small profumeria with a limited selection, “no touch” policy, bonus campioni and lovely wrapping paper. My favorite? Profumeria Materozzoli, the Scortino family has been keeping Roma bella since 1870. Best selection of hard-to-find perfumes, shampoos and shaving accessories.
Beauty Point, my two favorite words in the world of make up shopping within the GRA. I never thought I would find any thing that makes me smile as much as the fluorescent glow from a Monoprix sign. Beauty Point is an Italian spin on Target’s (Boots too!) make-up section. Variety of brands, quantity in products, spin-off beauty care (sun care, hair care) and best use of natural lighting– most Beauty Points avoid the Vegas approach to lighting with the entire front entrance in floor- to-ceiling glass.
Last week, I was walking through Prati when I noticed several posters published by the Comune di Roma announcing Roma Parigi Gemellate da 1956. The photo was a bridge connecting Castel Sant’Angelo to Notre Dame. No other information. I was curious, we were going to march on Paris? A festival of crepes and sauccison sec on the streets? Would we have a French day where all we did was say “Garcon!”? Comune di Roma‘s website offered no explanation but inspired me to think about who my gemellata/o is.
Perhaps because I am lazy and have always enjoyed this nickname, I automatically decided my twin was Eazy E, gansta rapper from Compton. Yes, me (the suburban, Ital-American) and Eazy E are as much a freakish combination as Paris and Britney. But just like The Superficial’s favorite poster girls, we have a lot in common, according to wikipedia.
Name: Eric Lynn Brown – if you know my name, then you get it
Birthdate: September 7th, 1964 my old boyfriend Ed’s birthday!!!
Height: 5’5” just like you know who…(I mean me, Ed was 5’ 10”)
Other wiki facts with parallels to my life:
This research took me 2 minutes. However, scouring through the Comune’s site was tedious, time-consuming, and pointless. I found the Roma/Parigi info elsewhere. Which leads me to ask you- what are your favorite Rome information websites? xox
I read somewhere that Paris Hilton’s ultimate friend test is performed in the intimacy of her boudoir. Paris tries on various outfits– from Hot to Heinous– and asks suspect friend for his/her opinion. If the friend negates the Hot outfits and approves of the Heinous vetements, Friend is immediately deigned False, kicked out of the inner circle and banished from the manor.
I am thankful because Paulina will always be in my circle. She has never let me walk around with a bad hair cut, buy an unattractive or overpriced item of clothing, nor led me astray (or out of the house) in bad fashion. She is a true friend, and the ideal shopping accomplice. With a simple look, we convey whether or not to switch gears to Buy or Reverse.
No longer 9 time-zones behind me, I can reach P in real time when ever I have an SMS SOS: heartbreak, job issue or fashion concern. Most recent was the decision to buy or not buy an overcoat. In 2 seconds, she responded “Can’t u wait til u go home? Cheaper in US.” She talked me down from the ledge of overpriced, impulse buying.
Which is why I was shocked the other day when meandering the rues of Paris, Paulina brought me into her latest vice– Orcanta “an expensive bra store that will change your life.” P and I, even in our LA incarnation, were never concerned with our boobs changing anyone’s life. Professional or amateur, we never swayed to the dark side of enhancement. Nor did we buy bras that cost more than a dinner for two. One nice thing about silicon-infested Los Angeles is that sometimes you don’t have to wear a bra. Small is good, especially during tank top season. However, cleavage is another story completely. You either had it or you didn’t, I thought. And if you bought it, it was a bit like false advertising, as my friend George would say.
I took the bait. P was absolutely right, as usual. Orcanta has many amazing, cleavage producing bras that are not like the traditional, odious stealth/bullet-proof bra which create “shape” and nothing else. We tested out every bra in the following simulations (in our small changing room):
1. Crowded restaurant, waiter pre-occupied. (V neck blouse/sweater)
Raise one arm towards waiter. Arrives shortly there after.
2. Dinner party, clueless cutey to next to you. (Button down blouse).
Slight lean to left or right when attempting to flirt.
Prey immediately directs attention at you.
3. The old faithful “hey, i’ll just reach across whatever to get that….” routine… with cleavage, it works.
P admitted that the best experience was just her, her boobs and her bra just hanging out at home. The bra simply made her (a girl who never had her robust cleavage) happy. Made me happy too. Price-wise, it is expensive– however, you get more bounce for your buck, and bucks it does cost. The question was: “Do I have to buy the full set?”
Technically, with the bra alone, you will already have the full set…. heh heh heh